In Today’s world, the opportunities we are presented with for entertainment, creating wealth, having fun, garnering personal accomplishments, etc. can become overwhelming. So many things we want to do and so little time to do them!
Strangely enough, our overexposure to opportunity can actually drive our FOMO (fear of missing out) and end up leading us to a place of anxiety and angst. Anxiety that we won’t have taken advantage of the things available (vacation, personal improvement, creating great memories, etc.) and angst because we know we just don’t have it in us to generate the energy necessary to accomplish all that we would like to do, and be, and have, and say!
One way to counter this anxiety and angst is to make an honest evaluation of where you are in life and how likely or unlikely you are to accomplish the goal you are setting for yourself.
When I was in my 20’s and 30’s, I remember being intensely jealous of my in-laws. In their 50’s they were able to travel, make additions and purchases for their home, and they had so much free time to pursue their hobbies and give time to worthy causes. At that time, I was up to my ears with young children and a house that never stayed clean. Rick and I were lucky to get to go out to dinner once a week without the kids. Vacations were close to home and easy on the wallet. (Can you say camping?) We were under a barrage of household and job-related chores and both of us worked like dogs most of the time.
At that time, it was so important for me to remember the “stage of life” I was in. I had to remind myself regularly that my in-laws had done all the things we were currently doing and had made the same kinds of sacrifices we were now making. They were, at one point in their lives, dealing with kids, trying to get a farm up and running, and sacrificing every summer season for their livestock with only a little bit of time in the middle of winter to try and find a vacation spot they could afford and visit. Reminding myself of this reality helped me to let go of a lot of the FOMO I was experiencing. Realizing that the energy and time I was putting into our family, household, and job would all (someday) be its own reward…and it has been.
Many of us have had exposure to the “jar and rocks” example. I’ll explain briefly. The jar represents our life, our limited time, and what we realistically can get done in a day. The big rocks are the important tasks we need to accomplish; our health, families, jobs, etc. The medium-sized pebbles are important tasks/concerns too, but not as important as the big rocks (like what job we have or what school we attend, etc). The sand and gravel are the unimportant ways in which we waste our time (watching TV, scrolling on the phone, social media, etc.) Time wasters could be defined as anything that takes our time and helps us avoid doing something we probably need to do.
So many people make the mistake of thinking that it really doesn’t matter how you fill your jar. That there is room for it all. However, the reality is that if you begin by spending time with the time wasters, you will not have time for the important things, the big rocks rarely make it into the jar. Here is another way of looking at the jar and rocks example. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPgMeKfQFq8
In order to let go of FOMO, accomplish the necessary tasks of the life you are living right now, and to get the most satisfaction, evaluate yourself and ask the following questions…
What are my big rocks? (Make sure this list isn’t too long or it can be overwhelming. List 5-10 at most)
What are my medium-sized rocks? (These things are important to you, but not life-altering)
What are my time wasters? (If I committed to eliminate these from my daily activities, how would it make room for my more important tasks?)
As you do this mini-evaluation and set your priorities, it is a little easier to see how, as life moves on, you will eventually be able to accomplish the important things and relieve the anxiety and angst you may be feeling today. Everything has its season!
Song, Life Means So Much by Chris Rice reminds us to “count the days and make the days count.” Find it on YouTube and streaming services.